Youth Group Tips for Gender Identity and Sexual Choices

 

As I have mentioned previously, our messages in our youth group over the last two months have been based on a book called Group's Emergency Response Handbook for Youth Ministry.  This week is the last week in the series and it is a big one!  We are going over the last chapter in the book called "Gender Identity and Sexual Choices."   At least right now, in my ministry, gender identity isn't getting as much publicity as it was a couple of years ago, but it is something that youth have secretly struggled with probably since the beginning of creation.  Even though gender identity may not be a topic going on in my youth ministry at this time, it is huge in the political world right now.  Apparently, there is a bill called the Equality Act that could negate religious freedoms to call sin what God has called sin in this area.  What I would like to look at today, for my fellow youth workers, is the section titled "Group Tips" in the handbook.  Then, we can review it together to see if Group's suggestions would be beneficial to our youth group.  Let's dive in!

"Don't Make One Sexual Sin Worse Than Another."

This is easier said than done.  As humans, some sins are more visible than others to us.  To God, every sin is disobedience to Him.  Lying is the same as stealing.  It's all disobedience.  However, how are we as Christian youth workers to respond to sexual sin?  The answer found in Group's Emergency Response Handbook is:  treat all sin equally.  Accept the person.  Reject the sin.

"Don't Give Up Or Change Your Expectations and Standards."

In the tips under this heading the writers say "Don't lower it [your standards], even if no one is sexually pure."  It seems like it is that way sometimes, or at least the media makes it seem like that is the case.  It mostly isn't.  However, if that were so, that would be extremely difficult to be the only one standing up for God's moral absolutes.  Would you?  Would I?  I have felt like that sometimes, but I know I wasn't alone.  That makes it easier to stand up for God when you're not alone.  Know that there are other Christian youth workers around the world standing up for God's values along with you each and every day.

"Start Young."

My wife and I made the decision to talk to our kids about God's standards for sex at an early age.  Each stage is, of course, age appropriate.  The schools in our area have begun talking pretty explicitly about sex at as young as Kindergarten.  They don't look at it from a Biblical perspective.  As Christian youth workers, we do look at it from a Biblical worldview.  Students are going to hear about sex from somewhere, youth group may as well be one of those places, Group points out.  

"Don't Gossip."

"If you suspect a student is involved in a sexual relationship, go directly to the student.  Don't speak to the student's parents.  Don't ask his or her friends.  Go to the source and ask gently."  Wow, I wish I would have read this earlier in my ministry, because I did exactly the opposite.  I went to the student's parents instead of the student.  The student actually asked, "why didn't you talk to me?"  It didn't go well.  The student lost their trust in me.  They were kind, but it could have gone much better if I had talk to them first.  If the student is a minor and they are going against their parent's values, then I do believe the parents need to be included at some point.  If you are a parent it is easy to put yourself in your students' parents' shoes.  Would you want to be told by their youth leader if the youth leader knew and you didn't?  If you aren't a parent yet then try to empathize with what a parent's wishes might be if they found themselves in this situation.  If I had to do it all over again, I would go to my student first then include his or her parents.