To: Sin

 

Addressing sin is never an easy task.  I don't know if anyone likes doing it.  Some people seem to be better at it than others though.  It's probably not so much that they enjoy it but that they see the benefits of the outcome of addressing sin.  When and how to address sin will be the focus of this week's blog post.

Recently it was brought to my attention that some teens in our youth ministry may have been involved in some sinful activity.  It was brought to my attention because I am their youth pastor.  Yes, that is part of the job, but is it solely my responsibility?  Certainly if I caught someone sinning I must address it right then and there.  Absolutely if there is a big problem in the entire youth group with a particular sin then it can be addressed from up front without using any names.  But what if it seems to be isolated to a small handful of students outside of youth group?  Shouldn't the parents deal with the situation with their kid and any others who are involved instead of passing the buck to the youth pastor or leader?

I know my own home we have handled our situations involving sin in that way.  But not everybody handles everything the same.  It's easier to have someone else do it.  If it is my job then I should be handling it anyway.  If it isn't then I shouldn't be doing someone else's dirty work.  What is a youth pastor to do?  We have a few options:

Option 1.  Handle the situation up front generically.

This would be a good approach if it were a sin that most teenagers deal with.  That way, if anyone else does ever find themselves entangled with that particular sin maybe they would remember what was said about it at that particular youth group night.  We do this all the time in youth ministry.  The down side to this is that the students that are involved may not be there the night we address it.  They may also not get the hint that what is being addressed is about them.  I prefer to handle things directly.  That way you know the people you are addressing are receiving the message.  What they do with it is up to them.

Option 2.  Give the parent the names and numbers of the other parents with kids involved.

I always feel a little weird doing this.  I think that is because we have been conditioned not to be a narc ever since junior high.  But after all these students are someone else's kids and they have a right to know what is going on in their kids' lives.  Going this route would be passing the buck right back and placing the responsibility in the parents' laps.  This isolates the incident to only those involved.  It also teaches parents to handle conflict.  I think this is closely related to what God wants believers to do when someone has sinned against us (Matthew 18:15-17).  In this case sinning against "us" is sinning against the minors in one's house.  Or maybe the minor in one's house was causing the sin in the first place.

Option 3.  Talk to the students involved in the sin either individually or as a group and address the sin directly with them.

The down side of just addressing sin this way is that it doesn't keep parents in the loop.  So, maybe a mix of option 2 and option 3 would be better than just option 3.  At any rate, I prefer to deal with the sin directly rather than indirectly if at all possible.  I didn't say I like doing it.  What I am saying is if I have to address it I would prefer to address it head on.

I hope this gives you some things to think about the next time sin needs to be addressed in your youth ministry.